Few things will kill your self-esteem like throwing a party no one attends. There you are, house clean, wine glasses sparkling, custom playlist on your iPod…and three people in your living room. You check Facebook to see if any “maybes” are on their way. No changes on the invite page, no posts on your wall. Suddenly it feels official: you are desperately unpopular.
Many of us in mainline Protestantism know this feeling all too well. Each week thousands of congregations prepare hymns and prayers, sermons and sacraments in the hopes of welcoming their communities. And more often than not, the community does not come. Eventually we decide we have an awareness problem. We throw an open-house, host a concert…, something to “get them in the door.” We are sure to send lots of postcards. Mostly who comes is us. We start to get depressed. What’s a church to do?
One well-trod path, of course, is to go for the worship service makeover. Change the music, change the décor, add a video projector (the young people love those!). Unless you already have a video projector, in which case you must remove it immediately (it’s so 2002!). Others decide to double-down on program: we’ll offer a group for this and a class for that. No sub-group will go un-ministered to; just tell us what’s best for your schedule. Still others decide that the best thing to do is get out of the religion business altogether and take up a political cause or a social issue. “At least we might get some buzz!”
The trouble with each of these strategies, however, is that they focus on popularity and attraction, not substance and value. The difference is subtle, but very important. And what distinguishes them is the one who benefits. Attraction (the root of popularity) is ultimately about the wellbeing of the one seeking to be attractive. One seeks to capture the other’s attentions so as to gain, to gain prestige, status, power, influence…
In contrast, value is what I offer to others, the good they receive in the relationship (though ideally the benefit is received by all). And here the church has reason to take heart. For while we are indeed losing the popularity contest, it’s not one we need (or should desire) to win. It might be a little rough on our egos (who doesn’t like to be attractive?). But if we can let go of our need to woo the world back into our pews, we become open to hearing what they value in church and how we might extend a warmer invitation.
In recent weeks we, the Fresh Expressions team at Irvine Pres., have been doing a lot of intentional listening – particularly to those who regard themselves as “outside the church.” Some are people of no religious sentiment. Others are of various spiritual traditions (including more than a few de-churched Christians). We’ve hosted focus groups, online conversations, individual chats over coffee…all in an effort to understand how the church is perceived: What describes the church at it’s best? Where do we get it right? And where do we get it wrong? What does the world wish the church would hear and take to heart? What can we do to make the blessings of life in the church more available to others?
The results are about as unscientific as they come. No controls, small numbers, located almost entirely in southern California. But some common threads have emerged very clearly, threads that resound with our understanding of the mission of the church and our particular sense of call. Here’s what we’ve heard so far:
- People appreciate being reminded that there is more to life than the to-do list. Respondents readily described a deeper part of their self that is not satisfied by material success alone. They want that part to be touched and challenged. And they are open to that challenge coming from a religious perspective (so long as it isn’t offered dogmatically or with condescension).
- Everyone is grateful for a trusted leader from whom they can seek wisdom when it counts. Hardships come, and a caring, insightful source of counsel is deeply valued.
- The Christian worldview is inherently hopeful and worship uplifting. We heard this numerous times. The church is often a joyful place. Though they may not share our metaphysics, many said they experience a lift when they engage (even slightly) in our singing, praying and preaching (provided the content does not require one to be a complete insider to feel comfortable).
- Very few people feel they are part of a true community – a group that knows them, likes them, and that would be there for them in a time of need. They see church as providing this about as well as anyone does, and if there is one aspect of church they wish they could share, this might well be it.
- People associate the church with social good. Ask what the church gets right and you’ll hear about care for the powerless and those in need; generally the more practical and immediate the care the better. A position paper on an issue is good. Opening your facilities to during a crisis is far better. Being daily involved in a particular need in the community is best of all. Even those who don’t like “religion” value the generosity of church when it gives itself away, and they recognize the motive is both a care for people and a response of faith.
Each of these affirmations comes with some important caveats of course. And there are some things the world wants the church to hear about what turns them away. I say more about these in a future post.
But as we consider again our call to extend the ministry of Jesus to our neighbors, it is important to remember that the church has essential gifts to offer. We may not win any awards for cutting-edge coolness, but meaning, wisdom, community, joy and social good are not a bad reputation to have.
As our team labors to create another expression of the church, these are some of the key values upon which we set our foundation. We hope you will help hold us accountable for achieving them.
