faith and doubt – Jesus @ 2 am blogs and podcast

Losing Faith, and Finding God after “God”

May 24, 2017May 24, 2017Kirk WinslowLeave a comment

Doubt, true doubt (not the mere intellectual variety, but the deep questioning an agonized soul), is one of the most painful and most necessary aspects of the life of faith. All the great saints have been through it. From Augustine in his Confessions to St. John of the Cross’s Dark Night of the Soul, the church possesses a wealth of insight into losing faith so as to find it more profoundly.

In this episode, our friend Rev. Mike Regele shares his own, very personal doubt. It is a courageous look into the sources of doubt, the pain of doubt and the frightening questions that arise – all amidst a backdrop of experienced faith that has been here before. It is one of the most profound sermons I’ve heard and I’m glad to be able to share it with you.

During the sermon, Mike references a book that has been tremendously helpful to him, Anatheism, by Richard Kearney. And if you like Mike’s sermon, you might check out Mike’s books, too!

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Loving God 301, Part 7: Expressing Awe and Wonder – Psalm 104

February 25, 2016February 18, 2016Kirk WinslowLeave a comment

What do we say when the beauty and goodness of life takes our breath away?

We’ve all had the experience of such awe and wonder that we are reduced to stunned silence. We reach for our cameras to capture it our phones to record it. We may later turn to painting or sculpture or music to try to pass some measure of the moment on to others. But still some part of us longs for words – as though the experience is not fully real until we can articulate its impact.

As we grow closer to God, such moments become more frequent and stirring. And thus the need for language becomes more essential. (The more we can place an experience into words the more we attach ourselves to it and the more it endures in memory – the more it becomes a part of us.)

Thankfully the psalms are filled with articulations of such moments, with the language of awe and wonder.

In this sermon we look at Psalm 104 and the virtuous cycle that occurs when our experience of wonder leads us to describe it in terms of other such moments. As we do, each experience is intensified. And yet, we are also humbled by them and granted some abiding peace. In our moment of awe we become more human and able to live humanely in the world God has granted to us. (I also make a rather passionate case for why we should all be traveling to Italy more often!) 😉

Loving God 301, Part 6: Begging Forgiveness – Psalm 51

February 21, 2016February 23, 2016Kirk WinslowLeave a comment

There is nothing harder for me to bring to God than guilt – real guilt. Not the shame of a minor offense or trivial wrong-doing. But the guilt of one who has transgressed very badly, who has clearly overstepped the bound of righteousness love.

In those times when I know that I am guilty and possess no defense, what do I say? And how could I ever ask for help again? How do I reestablish a relationship that I have actively wounded and have nothing to offer but an apology?

Few know this experience better than David – the 11th century king of Israel – who, though richly blessed by God, could not contain his desires. He used his power to coerce sex from Bathsheba (the wife of one of his most loyal and courageous soldiers – Uriah). And when David’s adultery led to her pregnancy, he conspired to have Uriah killed to hide the crime. It was a plot of extreme hubris and lacking all sense of compassion. And one which God would not overlook.

David was confronted by the prophet Nathan, who revealed that God knew what had happened. Psalm 51 is David’s response – his confession of sin and plea for forgiveness. It is a deeply moving poem and one that assured us in our moment of guilt that a truly contrite heart will not be cast off from God’s grace and compassion.

Here is Ian Farrell’s sermon on Psalm 51…